Is my child transsexual

Is my child a Transsexual?

Written by Karen Gross, Mitchell Gross and Tamera Sheehan

Transsexualism, what is ‘Transsexuality’?
A transsexual is a person who has the physical traits of one sex. However, that persons brain tells him/her that his/her gender does not match this identity. This creates a permanent conflict in the person.

Can Transsexualism ‘happen’ to small children?

Transsexualism is not something you can catch, like a disease. Nor can a person fall into it because of immoral living. Transsexualism seems to eastablish itself within the brain of the child while it is still a fetus in the womb. Some thing it is the result of genetics, like having a birth defect, such as a noticeable birthmark.

Does this mean that Transsexuals are mentally ill?

Transsexuals are no more mentally ill then people born left-handed. They are not insane people who think they have physical sexual parts which they do not have. They are very much aware of the reality they see in the mirror. They also know how others see them. However, their brain status insists that their physical appearance does not match the gender they feel they are. They feel less than whole.

At what ages does Transsexualism manifest itself?

Most transsexuals discover conflict of sexual identities as early as three to five years of age. A few discover it in the late childhood, the teen years or as adults. It all depends on how the brain was wired in the womb.

Transsexuality and Homosexuality, will my Transsexual child be homosexual?

A transsexual have a heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or asexual orentation. Thus, a transsexual may prefer a partner of the opposite, same, both or neither sex. Sexual preference for partners develops independently of transsexualism itself. Some authorities suggest that the sexual preference of Transsexuals is about the same ratio as found among non-transsexuals, about 90% heterosexual and 10% homosexual.

Are Transsexuals and Crossdressers the same?

Transsexuals are not happy with the sex into which they were both born and seek to change it. Crossdressers are happy with their birth sex, but need to dress as the opposite sex for various reasons.

Is there criteria for discovering TS?

No. Just because a child does not embrace the totality of our cultural norms, does not mean that the child is Transsexual.

Is it normal for children to explore gender roles?

It is perfectly normal for children to explore the opposite gender roles. However, for most children gender role exploration gradually lessens. Receding into fantasy, it disappears by age 5 to 6 years.

Are there any certain signs to find Transsexualism?

‘Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Assoc.’ has devised a criteria for boys and another for girls, who have not yet reached puberty.

For a FtM

a) (GIRL) The condition must have persisted for at least 6 months.
b) She shoes a persistent and intense distress at being a girl or insists she wants to be a boy or insists that she is a boy.
c) Either of the following must be present.
a.) She shows a persistent aversion to normal female clothing and insistance on wearing regular male clothing.
b.) Constant rejection of female anatomy, evident by at least one of the following:

She insists that she will grow a penis.
She rejects urinating in a sitting position.
She declares she does not want to grow breasts or menstruate.

For a MtF

a.) (BOY) The condition must have persisted for at least six months.
b.) He shows a persistent and intense distress at being a boy. He has has said he wants to be a girl or insists that he is a girl.
c.) Either of the following must be present.
a. He is preoccupied with typical female activities or he may dress in female cloths/simulated female clothing or he desires to play girl’s games and rejects male activities and toys.
b. Constant rejection of male anatomy, evident by at least one of the following:
1.) He insists he will grow up as a woman, not just the role of.
2.) He thinks his penis and/or testes are disgusting and will disappear.
3.) He says that it would be better not to have a penis or testes.

How can I be certain my child is a Transsexual?

The only way to be certain is if the child tells you! This will happen only when the child feels safe and loved.

How long will a Transsexual keep his/her secret?

Faced with opposition, the Transsexual child ‘goes underground’, limiting his/her cross gender interests to private play and/or fantasy. Many become masters at keeping this secret. Some hide this condition, called ‘Gender Identity Dysphoria’ (GID), into adulthood.

Miscellaneous Questions

What does it feel like to have one’s physical sex different than one’s gender as identified by one’s brain?

One young man at age 10 said “Mom, I feel like I ‘m in a prison.” Another said, “It feels like I am at war with myself.”

Why do Transsexuals wear the clothing of the opposite sex? Does Crossdressing get them sexually aroused?

For Transsexuals, ‘dressing’ and ‘crossdressing’ are just opposite society’s expectations. Crossdressing is wearing the clothes of the sex they were identified to be at birth. There is no sexual arousal. Wearing the clothes of the opposite sex is understoon to be the correct dressing. It also means Transsexuals use to ask the world to recognize that ‘he is a she’ or ‘she is a he’.

Sexual Reassignment Surgery

Should Sexual Reassignment Surgery be considered?

Never at an early age!!! Surgery is for the late teens and beyond. Parents should get help from professionals familiar with GID. They should also encourage their children to explore other options. Later, they may provide hormones. It is wise to wait, until at least the teenage years, so that the child may participate in this serious decision.

What can I do to bring about a positive resolution?

Resist the desire to hide in the closet. Rather, listen to and support your child. Educate yourself. Be piositive. Find others like you and share. Seek professional help. Pray. Rejoice in your unique calling. Love unconditionally. Love, even when you do not understand. And be ready to accept things you do not understand.

A Resource for Parents

Boenke, Mary, Trans Forming Families: Real Stories About Transgendered Loved Ones.

Contains many fascinating stories about families coming to accept a Transgendered loved one. Includes the story of TransFamily founders Bob and Karen Gross.